New ask Hacker News story: Ask HN: Why do I exist as a sysadmin?
Ask HN: Why do I exist as a sysadmin?
24 by vortex_panda | 30 comments on Hacker News.
I am currently a Linux administrator at a state university in the US. I do the standard variety of administrative things that one would expect: provision servers and VMs, manage storage pools, use monitoring tools to keep track of systems, use configuration management tools to automate installation and configuration of packages and services, etc, etc... As more and more services and tools are rolled into cloud provider's portfolios, I can't help but think that there's no point for me to exist. Here on HN, in person with other tech-minded people that I know, and elsewhere in the tech sphere, I'm bombarded with a viewpoint that boils down to: "Be a developer, or get out of the tech industry." Herein lies the issue. I have thus far been unsuccessful in any programming endeavors that I have attempted. I can manage to throw together bash scripts and other glue that's necessary to make automation tasks function at my work, but these are largely cargo culted from various stack overflow posts or other online resources. Whenever I attempt to dive into anything that I would consider "development", such as python programming, it's as if my brain completely ceases to function and all of the words and symbols on my screen turn into an incomprehensible alien language. It doesn't matter how long I stare at it or how much I reference the documentation, that alien language never reveals its true meaning to me. This inability to understand syntax is not only saddening to me, it's made much worse by a variety of mental issues that seem to amplify the issue, such as: PTSD, anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, and dyscalculia. All of these feed off of each other in a vicious cycle of frustration, hopelessness, self-loathing, and worse. I suppose my question is: Has anyone had a similar experience and managed to push through the mental blocks associated with learning to program while having your own mind constantly working against you?
24 by vortex_panda | 30 comments on Hacker News.
I am currently a Linux administrator at a state university in the US. I do the standard variety of administrative things that one would expect: provision servers and VMs, manage storage pools, use monitoring tools to keep track of systems, use configuration management tools to automate installation and configuration of packages and services, etc, etc... As more and more services and tools are rolled into cloud provider's portfolios, I can't help but think that there's no point for me to exist. Here on HN, in person with other tech-minded people that I know, and elsewhere in the tech sphere, I'm bombarded with a viewpoint that boils down to: "Be a developer, or get out of the tech industry." Herein lies the issue. I have thus far been unsuccessful in any programming endeavors that I have attempted. I can manage to throw together bash scripts and other glue that's necessary to make automation tasks function at my work, but these are largely cargo culted from various stack overflow posts or other online resources. Whenever I attempt to dive into anything that I would consider "development", such as python programming, it's as if my brain completely ceases to function and all of the words and symbols on my screen turn into an incomprehensible alien language. It doesn't matter how long I stare at it or how much I reference the documentation, that alien language never reveals its true meaning to me. This inability to understand syntax is not only saddening to me, it's made much worse by a variety of mental issues that seem to amplify the issue, such as: PTSD, anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, and dyscalculia. All of these feed off of each other in a vicious cycle of frustration, hopelessness, self-loathing, and worse. I suppose my question is: Has anyone had a similar experience and managed to push through the mental blocks associated with learning to program while having your own mind constantly working against you?
No comments